What is online dating?

Websites such as Match.com and DatingDirect.com (and others - see the Yahoo! directory of UK online dating agencies) take the traditional matchmaking process online and allow people to meet one another via the internet.

Risks

Broken hearts and disappointment are perhaps the biggest risks in online dating. But this article is not about love. This is about keeping yourself safe while meeting people over the internet. Some of the risks we worry about are:

• Personal safety when meeting someone you met online.
• Stalking and harassment.
• Meeting people who shouldn’t be dating online.
• Dating sites being used as vehicles for spam, selling or fraud.

In a few cases, criminals find their victims online and attack them when they meet. These are serious risks, but you can protect yourself by following a few guidelines, trusting your instincts and using common sense.

Choose your forum carefully

While you can strike up a friendship in many places online, and this guidance applies to all of them, choosing a well-run, reputable online dating service will provide some additional safety.

For example, you should look for a site that will protect your anonymity until you choose to reveal personal information. Also look for a site that will enforce its policies against inappropriate use.

Protect your privacy

You are in control of what happens. Don’t let anyone pressure you into giving away more information than you want to.

• You wouldn’t give your phone number to every stranger on the street. Similarly, don’t post personal information, such as phone numbers, in public places on the internet.
• Wait until you feel comfortable with an individual before telling them things like your phone number, place of work or address.
• A well-run dating site will offer the ability to email prospective dates using an email service that conceals both parties’ true email addresses. Use it.
• As a second line of defence for your privacy, set up a separate email account that doesn’t use your real name. This is very simple and quick to do using such providers as Hotmail or Yahoo! Mail. (Other services exist. See the DMOZ directory of free web-based mail services).
• Similarly, you can use an internet telephone service, such as Skype, to call someone instead of using your own phone.
• Pick a user name that doesn’t include any personal information. For example, “joe_glasgow” or “jane_liverpool” would be bad choices.

Meeting someone

If someone you meet online is sincerely interested in you, they will want you to feel safe and they will be happy to let you apply a few common sense rules when you meet.

• Always meet in a populated public place. Stay in populated public places.
• Travel there on your own – don’t accept a lift from your date.
• Do tell a friend or family member who you are meeting, where you are going and when you will be back.
• Stay sober.
• Take your mobile phone.
• Your personal belongings can be stolen. Your drink can be drugged. Don’t leave them unattended.

 More information

• Match.com’s safety tips.
• DatingDirect.com’s safety guidelines.
• BBC advice on dating and relationships.
• Read our advice about protecting your privacy.